Humble Request

America, it's been a great week. However, I'm feeling a little down—I looked at my traffic statistics the other day and realized I'm not exactly the cat's pajamas as far as visitors are concerned. I know, I know—the blog's only been up a week or so—but if no one reads it now, who will read it in the future? It makes me sad. Writing is my life's passion (next to ping-pong), and I hope to become the most popular blogger in the world. It's a lofty goal, but I think I can do it. One thing I know for certain is I need your support. If you love America: The Blog like I do, there are ways you can show it:

• Build a shrine dedicated to it, take pictures, and e-mail them to me at americatheblog@gmail.com
• Make an iron-on T-shirt emblazoned with a creative ATB logo and wear it six days a week (take a day off on Sundays to look nice for church)
• Leave messages on the answering machines of friends, telling them how great I am

If the above ideas don't appeal to you, you could just simply spread the word and link to me. I'll link you back if you e-mail.*

The html code to put a link on your blog, web page, or (if you must) MySpace can be found in the sidebar on the left. Spread the love (but don't use a condom; the Vatican forbids it).

*Unless you suck.