Global Warming Threatens Blogosphere

I am outraged. Just recently, the domain name I fought so passionately to secure for America: The Blog was spirited away in a fit of selfishness by (big surprise here) David Collins.

Now, I wouldn't be as upset if Collins had bequeathed the URL to a respectable blogger (Bill O'Reilly, etc.)—but take one look at the guy Collins chose and decide for yourself. The new holder of the domain is "ARAVOSISblog", who curiously seems to have the same layout and premise of AMERICAblog, the object of Collins's relentless complaining on FollowTheLinks. In fact, when you squint, ARAVOSISblog almost looks like it says "AMERICAblog".

Call me old-fashioned, but when too things look alike when I squint my eyes, I can't help but cry plagiarism. Still, I'm not one to jump to conclusions. Doing a little research, we find that AMERICAblog is written and maintained primarily by John Aravosis—and the person behind ARAVOSISblog clearly isn't John.

Now, call me old-fashioned, but when I see a blog with the word "Aravosis" in the title that isn't written by John Aravosis, I can't help but cry libel. Still, I'm not one to jump to conclusions. Doing a little research, we find that ARAVOSISblog is not really a serious blog at all—it's just a harmless parody, engineered by a disgruntled man who has the audacity to dare to question if everything he reads on an "A-list" blog is fact. All he really manages to do, however, is make a fool of himself by being immature. Parody is the second-weakest form of humor, next to sarcasm, neither of which you'll ever find a respectable journalist like me resorting to. I mean, honestly, who parodies things? This is the Internet, people, not Saturday Night Live. I can barely breathe anymore thanks to the likes of ARAVOSISblog—all of the hot air that is constantly emitting itself from sites like these is slowly destroying the ozone layer of truth that surrounds the blogosphere. Pretty soon we'll all be drowning in melted ice caps of lies, corrupted morals, and possibly worst of all, annoying third-party candidates.

Look at what you're doing, Collins. I beg you, don't let humor pass itself off as politics. Stick to the serious stuff—the cold, hard facts. Stick with America: The Blog.